Thursday, October 26, 2006

Baby Ford

We interrupt our normally scheduled programming to make an announcement and file some complaints, for the few of you who read this that haven’t already noticed I am pregnant! (Feel free to now scroll down through my pictures and notice that my stomach conveniently isn’t really showing in any of them). I’m almost up to 18 weeks, which means that my due date is April 1st. There have been times in my life when I thought it unlikely that this would ever happen so Larry and I could not be more thrilled. We waited quite awhile to start telling people because we weren’t really sure how things would go, but about a month ago my doctor told me that she felt safe saying from that point on, a miscarriage was unlikely so now that I’m beginning to show we’re spreading our happy news.

Now for the complaints, I hate being pregnant and I feel so guilty about it. Now, I’m not insane; I know pregnancy is not glamorous, but I really thought I would be so happy about being pregnant that all that other stuff wouldn’t get to me. After years of listening to others complain about their pregnancies while I sat there silently being so envious of them, I never thought I would say this, but I hate being pregnant and just saying that makes me feel like I’m somehow already a bad mother. I’m seriously sitting at my desk starting to cry because I feel so bad about it.

I think I handled the first few months of morning sickness fairly well. When my doctor said she didn’t want to put me on medication for nausea unless I wasn’t gaining weight, it didn’t bother me at all because I kept thinking that it had to end soon. Then last week happened and one evening as I found myself throwing up for the third time, I had a bit of a breakdown and cried as I told Larry that I can’t do this for five more months and if I knew my next pregnancy would be like this, I don’t think I would have anymore kids. And this morning, as I had to pull over on the freeway and make use of a ziplock bag that I have to keep my car stocked with for just such occasions, I found myself wishing for the millionth time that I could fast forward the next five months and be done with pregnancy, because as far as I’m concerned, any morning that you have to walk into work holding a ziplock bag full of your own vomit (or anyone else’s for that matter) is not a good morning.

Larry and I used to joke that baby Ford already hates me, but at this point, it’s not funny anymore. I’m at 18 weeks people so why is this still happening?

Ok, to end on a more positive note, my ultrasound to find out what we are having is in two weeks and I cannot wait! I’m hoping that knowing what we are having will get Larry and I to start talking about names. We talked about baby names when we first got married, as many newlyweds do, and we could not agree on anything. I think we were both so traumatized by it that we haven’t really talked about it since, but more about that later. I’ll keep you posted!

12 comments:

Kate Cotter-Murphy said...

Congratulations! This is Kate Cotter by the way . . . I haven't talked to you in forever, but I check your Blog regularly through the link on Melindas. By the way, we have so many random connections in our lives.
Larry's sister Kerri and I went to EFY together in Santa Barbara . . .
My entire extended family lives in Columbus
ALSO, and the weirdest of all, my husband's Mom and Larry's mom were apparently, and still are, good friends! She was talking about her friend from high school and I realized that I knew who she was somehow and then we realized the connection. Anyway, my mother-in-law is Janna Morris (now Murphy). Phew, ok I'm done now! Back to you, congrats and I hope you feel better soon!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Steph--definitely don't feel bad about hating pregnancy--I hate it and I'm not even throwing up. It is my second pregnancy but wow have I really hated it this time.. you're still a great person and you're going to LOVE that baby. Have you ever heard of taking unisom--I actually took it earlier in my pregnancy for morning sickness and it helped a lot--it was still there but just manageable. It's widely used in Canada (thus how I found out about it with all my Canadian relatives)--but it's called something different that my pregnant brain can't remember right now. There is lots of research in it and it's one of the safest drugs to take during pregnancy. My sister in-law likes to have her babies a-natural and she still takes unisom to temper the nausea. Seriously, is there anything worse then throwing up? Hope things get better soon for you.
-your fellow pregnancy hater--kato

Anonymous said...

ps. CONGRATULATIONS!!! -KT

Anonymous said...

WHAT!!!! HOLY COW!!!! YEAH!!! So this is so fun! I can't believe I'm not there to shake you to death and jump up and down. I hear that helps with the nausea....uhm...anyway. Hope to see you soon. Maybe at a wedding or something. HEE HEE... OH....love TWILIGHT! I'm getting New Moon soon. Soooo good. Thanks for the blog. Love Kamiko

Melinda said...

Pregnancy is a means to an end. The end. I love you and you will be an EXCELLENT mommy!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you. The next five months will go fast and you will get better soon. I love being a mother and you will too. Kids really complete a family and make life so much fun.

Kristi Brooke said...

Congrats

K-Trap said...

Stephanie! I'm so excited for you guys. I've been waiting (and hoping) that you would announce a pregnancy soon, but I can't believe you kept it a secret for so long! Pregnancy sucks, I commiserate. I sure hope you get feeling better quickly.

Elisa said...

Congratulations!! I am so happy for you guys!

I understand the depression that accompanies pregnancy. It's hard to go to bed sick just hoping that when you wake up it will be different, only to wake up feeling worse. The only good thing I thought of that comes from this experience is that I have way more compassion for people who have chronic illnesses. My Grandpa had arthritis and tended to be grumpy. Now, I feel like I understand his grumpiness. If he were alive I would be so much more sympathetic!

TX Girl said...

Congratulations. Pregnancy does suck, but hopefully it will get better for you. Don't feel bad about disliking the whole pregnancy thing- it really is kind of a nightmare to lend your body to someone else for 9 months.

Good luck- I hope things get better.

By the way- I love your blog.

Kelly L said...

Stephanie-

Yeah! I am so glad that you officially announced your pregancy! Melissa Cantwell was in town last weekend and she told me you were expecting and I can't tell you how ecstatic I was to hear the news. You are going to be just the most amazing Mom and you should not feel guilty at all about not enjoying this part of the motherhood thing. I wish I had some advice to get you through the sickness, but fortunately I never had to deal with it; BUT now I have a kind of bratty 4 year old, so maybe there is a tradeoff down the road for you! :) I can't wait to hear what you are having and I'll definitely keep you and your sick tummy in my prayers!

Shannon Sundberg said...

Stephanie:
Congratulations! We are so excited for you. You are soooooo good with kids and this baby is so lucky to have you for a mommy! You are the neatest person and I am absolutely thrilled that some of those goodness genes will be passed on to a little one. I sure hope you get feeling better soon! We love reading your blog! You do an excellent job with it. Congrats!