Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Oliver Arrives Home

We arrived home to a few surprises from friends. It was so nice to walk in a see this. It made us feel so loved. Lisa made this banner, and she also put little "Welcome Oliver" signs all over the house.She drove up during the day and Larry met her to let her in, then she drove all the way home to pick up Tyler and head back to visit us at the hospital, all with her two-month-old Simon.
The original plan was for Creed to spend one more night at my parents', but after we talked to him on the phone, he got homesick so my dad brought him home.

Larry says that when Creed was born, life felt complete with the three of us in the hospital. This time, we loved the time alone with Oliver in the hospital, but something was definitely missing and we were happy to have Creed home with us. He was so gentle with Ollie.

He admired his little hands and tiny toes.

I'm sure he's going to be a great big brother. I can't wait for Ollie to get old enough to interact with him.
Creed's handled things really well so far, but we've had lots of helping hands around to give him all the attention that he needs. Now that we're on our own, I'm really worried about how he's going to take things because he's used to having our full attention 100% of the time. We played with him all day, but that's not going to be possible anymore.

I have to admit, that although I couldn't be happier to have Oliver in our family, I shed some tears that first night after wishing Creed goodnight, knowing how much his life is going to change, knowing I will never be able to give him the kind of attention that I've given him for the past three years and knowing Creed will never have that kind of attention from us. I know it is the best thing for our family, but it's still going to be a big adjustment for all of us.


Amber said...

I totally relate! I felt like I was abandoning my first to love my second, but it quickly wears off. This will bring a new level of love to your family.

Charlotte said...

Congrats - enjoy your babymoon!

I am lovin' that head of baby-hair - I've still got a baldy at six months.

Charlotte xx

Anna said...

There's always such apprehension with big changes (at least for me). You are a wonderful mother and I'm certain you'll be able to balance it all beautifully.

Good luck these next few weeks as you get settled.

Nina said...

What a beautiful new son you have! Because of your level of 'awareness' of the impact this will be on Creed, I'm sure he (and you) will adjust just fine. Kids are remarkable at adapting to change when they have great loving parents like you and Larry.

giddygoat said...

One door closes,another opens. I know your feelings.

Tonight though, my husband and I mentioned that of all the things we have done for and with our oldest, the best thing/gift/toy she has is her sister. They <3 each other to the moon, as will yours!
Be well,

Susan said...

De-lurking to say I felt the very same way when I had my second--like I was tipping my oldest's world upside-down and robbing them both of the attention they deserved. I had my third six months ago, and now I find myself feeling sorry that my youngest will never know the joy of doting on a younger sibling the way her brother and sister do her. Just like having children in the first place didn't ruin my marriage by eliminating so much of the "couple time" my husband and I used to enjoy, introducing a new sibling has only deepened and dimensionalized (pretty sure I just made that word up) my relationship to my children.

That sense of completeness you felt when the four of you were together? Creed and Oliver will feel it soon, too.

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boy!

R said...

I felt the same thing. I think it's pretty normal. As is so much of our mommy guilt.
But, don't worry, (and keep telling yourself), it is good for Creed to play by himself to help him develop his autonomy, imagination, patience, learning he is not the center of the universe, etc. etc. All those other things . . . things I Still need to work on myself (and I am the oldest of 6!). Creed will let his needs be made known and sometimes he will get them met first, and sometimes Ollie will.
A hard but good lesson in sharing. ;)

Love ya Steph!

But seriously I think letting kids go is one of the hardest things parents have to do.
Good luck holding onto those two!

Can't wait to see them playing around too?!--just give it a year!!

Heather said...

I cried the same tears the night before Sienna was induced. You'll learn how to split your love, but it never is the same as just one on one all the time.

Danielle said...

De-lurking like Susan to say I also have two boys like you (3 and 1) and felt those same exact feelings. BUT, the good news is that sadness was replaced with the joy I feel watching their brotherly bond grow. For me, seeing them together is the most rewarding aspect of motherhood and I cherish it, knowing they'll have each other in life. Just wait till you hear two little boy giggles! Pure joy. Congratulations to you and your family!

taniawillis said...

susan articulated it perfectly.

Shar said...

I cried over how different Kapria looked to me when i got home with Mila. It instantly removes them from being a baby and that made me sad. I agree with the comments, that it gets better. but there are still days that I feel sad because I can't hold Mila as much as I want or play with Kapria as much as I want because the other person needs attention, too. but there's another person in the family to give them love, too, so hopefully that makes up for it.

You look beautiful and your boys are adorable!

malia said...

you are an amazing mother steph. i had the same fears about splitting time. you'll learn how to manage that, but you will never have to split your love because it just grows! best of luck but i know you'll do just fine. :)