I guess that I need to count my blessings instead of sheep

Last night I had one of those nights where I couldn't sleep because I was feeling blue.  There have been so many things weighing on my mind.

1. I've only made a few good friend since moving to Salt Lake and the two that I spend most of my time with are moving in the next few weeks (and Creed will also be loosing his best friend here, Jesse.  How do you explain that to a two-year-old?  When we went to church in California, Creed circled the halls calling Jesse's name because Jesse is always there when we go to church in Utah.) And ok, Lisa is only moving an hour away to Provo, but that seems like a world away when I see her about three times a week right now.
   
2. Eva and I were informed by some Etsy members that another graphic designer has tweaked my alphabet and number posters and is selling them as her own designs.  I probably shouldn't feel so sad about this because it was nice to know other Etsy members were watching out for us, and one of my best friends, Nikki, happens to a very well established lawyer who specializes in intellectual property, and we are so lucky to have her helping us through this mess.  It just makes me really sad that it has to come to that. 
3. Larry is back to work at the University Hospital today and since he is the infectious disease consultant and there is a Swine Flu outbreak, I fear we will not being seeing a lot of him this month.  He assured me that he will be one of the safest people in the hospital since for patients to get to him, they have to go through other doctors first and Larry will already know they are suspected to have Swine Flu so he will be fully suited up and they will be in a room with sanitized air.  I am just sad that he will be very busy (that sounds very selfish, doesn't it?).
4. My Grandpa Borup is battling Cancer.  It's so advanced, they are not even sure what kind of cancer it is. I feel lucky in a way that I get to be here and spend time with him when my sisters can't, but it's so so sad to watch the spark in him dwindle, and I never know exactly the right thing to say. My dad says that my Grandpa (his dad) is the kindest hearted, gentlest person that he has ever known, and I don't think that could receive a better complement than that.
5. I know this will sound trivial after number four, but I'm the Enrichment Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency (the women's organization in my ward) and I am NOT good at this calling.  I really do try, and I think I'm ok at planning the enrichment meetings, but I feel so feeble compared to the other women in the presidency and I feel like no matter how much I do, I need to be doing more.  I just keep wondering how I ended up in this position when so many others would be better (and yes, I know that I shouldn't compare myself, but it's impossible not to). I think part of the problem is that I want to do a great job in relief society, but I also want to be the perfect mom and embrace every moment that I have with Creed, and I want be a wonderful graphic designer, and I want to keep up with the world of Children's literature, and I want to have a perfectly clean and organized house, and I want . . .     All that I want, is just not possible at the same time, at least not for me.  Every time I focus on one area, it seems the rest starts to deteriorate.  I'm sure that I'm not the only around feeling that way.  I guess I need to work on finding some balance.  And some sleep.  

Today the world looks bright and shiny again, and I spent the morning letting go of worries and doing exactly as I please.  Creed and I dried off all the slides at the park with the seat of our pants and we walked through ArtMarket and ate a giant pink cookie (pink is Creed's second favorite color).  Now I'm blogging, working on a surprise present for a friend, and thinking about how we are going to spend our Saturday.