The longest week of my life

I better start this with a disclaimer that I'm feeling extremely homesick and emotional right so I'm going to try to keep this brief so anyone reading this won't worry too much.
Last Wednesday some of the best girlfriend in the world showed up to pack up my kitchen. I kept biting my lip and trying to smile instead of cry because I knew I would miss each of them so much. They were incredibly fast and before I knew it, the job was done and we were snacking and reading notes from each of them that did push me to tears. It seems so unfair that I had to leave them all. Leave the place I did so much growing. Leave the place I will always call home. I didn't think to take any pictures, but Elle and Cat spent all Thursday helping us pack up and that night even more friends from the ward showed up to help us pack up the van. We had a 26' rental truck and we filled every inch of it. I don't know what we would have done without so much help. Jason & Liz and Kirk & Eva stuck around to help us pack up the left over odds and ends while my friend Greta, who truly is a saint, cleaned most of the house.

We spent Thursday night at the Erneys' but had to head back in the morning to meet the person picking up our washer and dryer and clean the kitchen floor. It took us all morning, and while I'd like to blame it on the fact that we were exhausted, but it was really because we didn't want to leave.

It makes my stomach tighten to see my home so empty and know that it belongs to someone else now.

Luckily, we had the Erneys and Hudsons to distract us for the rest of the day. I miss them so much I almost called them crying tonight when I know they would have already been in bed, but Cat lost her father this week so that would have been really selfish. Instead I'm sitting here blogging when I should be unpacking, which I guess is also a little selfish, but I needed a break.

Saturday, Larry headed out on his 32 hour drive (counting pit stops)

I felt so stressed for him because he also had a car trailer behind what is already that biggest truck that you can drive without a commercial license. He was all on his own, but he made it safely!

In the meantime, I flew Sunday afternoon with Creed. The flight did not go well, but I'd still choose it over a 30 hour drive with a one-year-old. Monday, we checked out the house we planned to rent (and got rear-ended while waiting at a red light). We signed the contract so Tuesday at 6:00 p.m. we met up with some nice fellows in our new ward and unloaded our moving van. We weren't even up for making beds after that so we spent one more night with family.

Today we were thrilled to safely return that gianormous truck this afternoon and spent the rest of the afternoon unpacking the kitchen, making beds, and grocery shopping. We were so tired that we spent a small fortune at the store and only have food for one complete meal of hot dogs and grapes. Nice! Oh well, Creed will be happy and we'll make it to the store sooner or later.

The home that we're renting is cute but tiny, so we haven't figured out where to put anything. I know we'll be getting rid of a lot of furniture including our enormous entertainment center and we need to make a serious trip to Ikea since Larry and I will be sharing a closet that's about two and a half feet wide.

I know I've said it here before, but I really don't handle change well, but I haven't cried that much until today. I guess reality has set in that this is not a vacation, and I don't get to go home soon. I don't get to drop by to see Eva printing on her letterpress. I don't get to go to the children's literature book club this Tuesday. I don't get to watch Cat work her cooking magic. I don't get to grin while watching Creed play with Audrey. I don't get to watch football games at the Rice's where Tony will explain all of the stuff that I don't get. I need to take the Restaurant Widow's blog off of my Google Reader because it is somehow making me even more homesick by reminding me that I won't be going to Comfest this weekend or the latest play opening at Shakespeare in the park.

I'm not saying all of this to imply that Salt Lake City isn't great, I'm sure it is. It just doesn't feel like home and truthfully I don't know much about the city yet.

See, I hate how incredibly sad and lost I feel right now, and the worst part was I knew that this is exactly how I would be, even though I have moved a million times, I feel this way every time and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. If anything it's worse because I lived in Columbus longer than I've ever lived anywhere else and I consider myself a C-Bus girl through and through. I can stay busy during the day, but as night rolls in, I totally lose it. I'm not exaggerating. An older lady walking by my house this evening stopped to wave to Creed and asked me where we're from, and I burst into tears even though I knew it was ridiculous to be crying as I told her that we're from Columbus. And oddly, a part of me really wanted that total stranger to lean over and hug me and tell me that it would be ok, but she didn't. I think she was as embarrassed as I was.

I really wish that we were going to the new ward this Sunday because I am in serious need of friends and things to do, but it's my little brother's homecoming so I'm going to hear him speak about his mission in my parent's ward.

I know it will get better. I know I will find my way around. I know I will make new friends. I know in six months, I'll shake my head that I ever could have been so sad here, but right now that just looks so very far away.

There's no place like home.

There's no place like home . . .