Thursday, July 31, 2008
It turned out that Creed loved the outing. This is a horrible video clip, but you get a glimpse of how he stood up so attentive and danced through most of the movie and kept pointing excitedly at the screen. We finally took him home at 10:00 so he wouldn't be too cranky in the morning, but he would have been happy to stay longer.
What girl could resist putting her shoes away if she gets to put them away like this? This new charm (mine is orange instead of pink). I had the pleasure of meeting up with two blogging friends, Elisa and Cristin and they gave me this beautiful charm, which is actually made on a scrabble tile. The night before, I had just been talking to Larry about ordering the poster version, which Cristin owns, and how I think I need to adopt "Keep calm and carry on" as my mantra for this move. I couldn't believe my eyes when Cristin handed me the charm. It couldn't have been a more perfect gift.
And the frames and alphabet prints that I designed for Eva have been getting some really lovely compliments that make me happy too (and yes, this feels like bragging, but I can't help it, I'm so proud of what a great job Eva did with them)
So the truth is, I'm leading a pretty lonely life these days. I'm one of those people that needs some alone time, but lately, almost all of my time is alone time. Someone called the other day in the middle of the day and thought they woke me up because my voice was husky from not using it (I do talk to Creed, but I guess we'd had a quiet morning of me following him around an empty playground and then he'd taken an extraordinarily long nap). Larry works six days a week and he's on call six days a week (it is home call, which is much better than residency, but those calls while we're trying to spend time as a family are so annoying). His only day off each week is Sunday, and since we're Mormon that means three hours of church in the middle of the day along with other meetings and we will never get a chance to explore some of the fun places around town together since we try not to do anything that requires anyone else to work on Sundays. And did I mention that's his schedule for the entire year? That means no long weekends to escape and take a road trip, and no time for Larry to watch Creed so I can do things around the city that aren't fun for a toddler like explore boutiques or buy new jeans or have lunch with friends. Larry has always had to work some Saturdays, but I never realized how important it was to me to have him around for a Saturday here and there.
So people out there who wonder how I do all the things that I do (and I really don't do much, you just get the highlights on my blog) I have more time to myself than I know what to do with. I'm busy with Creed, but at some point, he has to sleep and then I'm on my own.
And speaking of Creed, I love him and find myself constantly blinking in wonder at how cute he is and how quickly he's growing, but it's really tiring being in charge of him 100% of the time. Larry's been trying to help out and take him on some jaunts in the evening, but by the time he gets home and we pull together dinner, Creed is getting tired and cranky and it's probably better for him to stay home and wind down.
And I have so many insecurities as a mother. Am I feeding him well enough? There must be other healthy foods that I can get him to eat. Should I convert to one nap a day and how do I know when that nap should be? And he has a farmer's tan, which means I'm not making him wear enough sunscreen. And we don't know any kids in our neighborhood his age so should I be taking him to playgroup or something so he's used to being around other kids his age? And it is so crazy hot in the afternoons that I feel so bad every time I have to put him in his carseat, aka insulated oven, and he looks at me with those sad eyes. And I'm worried about his loss of vocabulary lately. And . . . and . . . and . . .
I definitely have my flaws. I'm not a good cook and I'm so uninspired in the kitchen. I HATE exercising and tell myself that chasing Creed is enough right now. I keep saying the word "stinkin'" which I hate (why did I even start saying that?) and I can't stop! I'm obsessed with finding a new rug for our living room that's beautiful, yet affordable and it's driving me crazy that I can't find one. I have a totally irrational fear of ducks and geese and they are all over the parks here. I stay up later than I should and I'm grouchy in the morning. I'm terrible at returning phone calls, not because I'm busy, but because I especially don't like talking when I'm feeling blue. If you came to my house right now, you'd think we moved here a week ago instead of a month because I'm not in a hurry for this new place to feel like home and it's not like I have any friends who are coming by so I still have a lot of unpacking and organizing to do (which I guess is a sign that we own a lot of stuff that we don't need).
I totally have a lack of focus these days and am not really sure where I want to head from here. Do I want to try to work as an adjunct professor if it would mean adding more chaos to our families schedule and less time together? Do I want to keep selling fairy doors if that sucks up a lot of my creative time? Do I want to keep accepting freelance graphic design jobs? Do I want to be a little more active in the children's literature blogging world? Should we have another baby and could I really handle that and still be the kind of mom that I want to be to Creed? Should I be focusing more on writing while Creed naps? Should I just drop it all and focus on Creed while he still wants to shadow my every move? In what areas should I really be trying to develop and why do I let all this other stuff get in the way?
I'm not saying all of this to get down on myself or make you think that I'm depressed. I know that I'm blessed and I'm really happy with my life. I just want you to know that I'm not even in the same realm as perfect and I embrace that. Someday, when Creed is feeling lost or lonely or questioning his parenting skills, I want him to be able to read this and know I was there and it's ok. You don't need to be perfect to be happy.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
but watch out for the kid wearing it!
Actually he looks kind of like a gnome at work here, doesn't he?
At the moment Creed is VERY attached to that cheapo wagon. We have a real wagon that he can ride in and I can pull without hunching over, but he LOVES this one. He found it on clearance at Target a couple of weeks ago and pulled it all around the store with our purchases in it so we bought it. He wouldn't let Larry put it in the trunk so it rode home next to him in the car while he clung to the handle with his little knuckles turning white. Now it goes EVERYWHERE with him. I guess it was well worth the couple of dollars that we spent.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Eva got a tour of our messy, disorganized, half-unpacked home while I forced her to write down her favorite things to do in Utah. We met up with Greta while she was visiting family in Springville (and is it just me or so I look liked a crazed clown here to you too?)
Did I mention that story time at the Provo library is an amazing production? I mean, scripted, miked, well-rehearsed with music, and a puppet show and coordinating coloring all in a cool amphitheater. Wow!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I poked fun saying, "What, no stained glass windows?" and he said, "Well, I think I'm just going to do one."
You're awesome dad! I can't wait until Creed's big enough to play up there. And thanks to my mom for the photos.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I want to be the kind of mom who makes Memorial Day special. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do this yet, but I recently read on a blog somewhere (I wish I remembered which one) about a mom who doesn't live near any of her ancestors graves so she looks up some famous graves in the area and takes her kids to see them on Memorial Day and tells the story of each person as she making her visits so her kids get that Memorial Day is about remembering people. This is where Louisa May Alcott, the author is Little Women, is buried, etc. It could be an interesting activity to research whose graves you could visit (that sounds a little morbid, doesn't it?)
I want to be the kind of mom who takes the time out to spend with her friends, which might include a fun garden party like this one I saw on Design Mom. It was actually a bridal shower, but I love the idea of have a glass jar or vase labeled for each guest to fill with flowers and take home at the end of the evening. If you are like me, and don't have a lot of money, you could have each guest bring a few of their favorite flowers to share and then everyone could assemble their own bouquets. You could also pick up flowers at some place like Costco where they have surprisingly beautiful big bouquets that would provide plenty to share.
I want to be the kind of mom who plans readathons for her kids. My friend Mary Ann's mom regularly gathered her kids and their friends for a trip to the library and a stop to pick up favorite treats for such a special occasion and then they pushed their couches together to create a big cozy nest and the readathon began. I remember thinking that was the COOLEST thing ever!
I want to be the kind of mom who creates a caterpillar garden so her kids can watch the process of how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
Photo via Mindy Weiss.
I want to be the kind of mom who gathers the kids in the neighborhood for backyard movie night. The Hudsons do this and project the movie onto their garage door. There have been a few times that my dad signed out the projector from his office for an outdoor movie night and there's just something magical about watching a movie underneath the stars.
I want to be the kind of mom who can rock out to songs like this with her kids. I know, I know, I just posted a million videos, but this was just makes me too happy. The perfect meld of fun-for-kids, and music-I-want-to-listen-to, which I think is important. Just like I try to buy books with artful illustrations so Creed can grow up with an appreciation for good art, I'm trying to share some good music too (and yea, I know, what's good is all relative)
I want to be the kind of mom who subscribes to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). This means subscribing to a farm and receiving weekly boxes of their harvests during the growing season (about June through October). People join by purchasing a "share" of produce pre-season, then pick up their weekly produce from a central drop point in their area during the harvest season. You support local farmers and get very fresh produce. I think this would be good for me because I would be sure to receive some produce that I don't normally cook with and it would be fun to learn how to use it.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
My mom made pretty much all of the clothes that you see in these pictures. I can't imagine making all of Creed's clothes.
People always ask where Creed gets his white-blond hair and they are always surprised when I say that I was the same way when I was little.
Here I am with Candice. We were always about the same size.
My whole family cracked up when they saw this one because this is so me. I used to fight to be able to get myself dressed and I always ended up in outfits like this when I won the battle. My mom would have to compromise, "You can wear this to the store if I get to pick out what you wear to church tomorrow . . ."
And speaking of stylin, here's my dad the day he got his PHD And here are all of the Borup girls.
It was crazy looking back and realizing how much Creed looks like me and how much Logan looks like Marissa. I'm so glad that my sisters got my dad to pull out the slides. It makes me a little sad that we don't use film anymore and Creed won't have a slide show of his childhood one day. We could always put together a Powerpoint and project it or something, but it just isn't the same as film.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.
And this clip that made me laugh right out loud, found via Design Mom
There's something about this clip found via The Black Eiffel that just makes me feel good
And this one. also via Black Eiffel has been on my mind a lot lately since reading The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks (Have you read it yet? You NEED to.)
Which leads me to this sketch from Improv Everywhere. They filled a subway car with identical twins dressed alike and acting like mirror images. I wish that I could have seen it in person.If you haven't heard of Improv Everywhere, you NEED to check out their site. I think I need to add taking part in one of their events to my bucket list.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Well, not to be deterred, I heard good things about the Farmers market in Salt Lake City so Creed and I headed there after dropping Larry off at work on Saturday morning. The Farmers Market is held in Pioneer Park on 3rd South and 3rd West from nine a.m. to one p.m. every Saturday during the summer. It's kind of a sketchy park, but volunteers always clean it up right before the Farmers Market and I felt completely safe there.
Oh was I pleasantly surprised! It was great! I couldn't believe how much produce was there and it was all grown locally. They had a row the whole length of the park of just farmers and the rest of the park had artisans and other food booths.
I only had my little point and shoot camera with me and I was juggling Creed and my purchases (beacuse my stroller is in my car which is STILL in Ohio, but that's another story for another time), but I couldn't resist taking a few photos for you. I'm just sorry that I didn't note which pictures were from which farm.
figs (these were not grown locally, but they were grown organically)potatoes
My friend Em says the Belgian waffle guy is famous and they are amazing wafflesQuail eggs (wouldn't know how to use them, but they are so pretty)
And there was so much more that I didn't take pictures of. Creed and I headed home with a bag full of potatoes, raspberries, and cherries. I think we could make the Farmers Market a Saturday morning tradition.